I woke up from a slumber by the bus lurching violently to the side, I looked out of the window and saw a car careening the wrong way down the motorway, traffic rippling out of the way like it was being repelled from a magnet. I had the distinct uneasy feeling that it was going to end up totalling a car travelling the right way. Before I could regain my thoughts, I saw another car attempting to do a three point turn in the fast lane of the road. I told George to concentrate and just keep driving past all these lunatics. There was snow falling lightly, and we were still about three hours away from our destination. I don't remember where we were coming from, can't recall that at all.
The snow was worrying me, because twilight had taken a hold on the day and the snow was reflecting all the headlights creating a strange glow, making it very difficult to tell our proximity from other objects. As we started to go up a huge hill, the bus started to struggle and the I could feel the wheels spinning under us. The satnav still had the direction pointing the way, and we were valiantly trying to follow it, but before we turned over or got stuck in the snow, I asked George to turn off, into a side road. This road had less snow because of the trees, and was single track. I was sure I'd seen some sort of farm or lights when I had the idea that we probably shouldn't try and finish the journey in these sort of conditions, as there'd be no band otherwise. We confused the satnav, and it's pathetic voice rang out with complaints about turning around, when we came across a big farmhouse with a spacious courtyard. I leaned into the snow and wind as I battled my way over to the door, and the occupants must have seen us coming as the door opened and I was let in to a warm kitchen. After explaining our plight, we were offered the living room floor to sleep on, and thanking the host, I went outside to tell everyone the news. The snow had stopped, and I realised I was wearing a long wig. Two of our friends from another band were standing with my lot, and they took a while to recognise me, as the wig was hiding my identity. I pulled the wig off, and then I woke up, as I'm still really on a bus in Albania, in the heat of the day, and we've just stopped at a petrol station for everyone to get off and go for a piss.
Better go then. Never know what's going to happen on the road.
